yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
