why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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