Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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