She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
