he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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