If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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