TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
