I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Vodka?
Forever.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
