I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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