At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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