It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just pee around me
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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