New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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