just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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