Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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