Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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