He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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