It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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