Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
