i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
