I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
