Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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