i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
