oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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