I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
