cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
