I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
