sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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