Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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