I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize