I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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