If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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