Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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