Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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