Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
