just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
