Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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