Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
