Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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