Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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