Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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