Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
