Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
