I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
