Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
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She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
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I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You ate ashes out of my bong
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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