Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
