I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize