Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
