Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
