I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
