I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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