What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
