He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
