so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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