Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
