I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize