there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
