pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
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Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
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He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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