Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize